Little known facts about Kakashi Hatake
by Selene the Slytherin
Summary: It all began when my friends and I were exchanging Chuck Norris Jokes in class. One episode of Naruto later, the Kakashi jokes were born. A completely shameless parody of Chuck Norris jokes. Please read and review. Requests taken. Flamers will perish.
1. Here you go

1.)When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Kakashi.

2.)There is no chin behind Kakashi's mask. There is only another fist.

3.)The chief export of Kakashi is pain.

4.)In fine print on the last page of the Konoha Book of World Records, it notes that all world records are currently held by Kakashi Hatake and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

5.)The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Kakashi out. It failed miserably.

6.)Crop circles are Kakashi's way of telling corn to lie the hell down.

7.)Kakashi once commented, "There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift Thousand Years of Death Jutsu. In fact, there are none."

8.)Kakashi once ate an entire ream of rice paper. Hours later, out came a thousand origami swans and Mister Miyagi from the Karate Kid.

9.)Kakashi knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

10.)Kakashi is what Willis was talking about.

11.)If you have five dollars and Kakashi has five dollars, Kakashi has more money than you.

12.)Kakashi sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th, but it wasn't Jesus' birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Kakashi and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

13.)When Kakashi got the eye transplant, the anesthesia was applied to Rin.

14.)Multiple people have died from Kakashi giving them the finger.

15.)Once, a grizzly bear threatened to eat Kakashi. Kakashi showed the bear his Sharingan and the bear proceded to eat himself, deciding it would be the lee painful way to die.

16.)If Kakashi is late, time better slow the hell down.

17.)Kakashi sleeps with a night light, not because he is scared of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Kakashi.

18.)Kakashi can touch MC Hammer.

19.)Kakashi ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

20.)A handicapped parking sign does not signify that the spot is for handicapped people. In fact it is a warning that the spot belongs to Kakashi and you will be handicapped if you park there.

21.)Kakashi frequently donates blood to the Red Cross, just never his own.

22.)There is no such thing as tornados. Kakashi just hates trailer parks.

23.)Kakashi does not procreate, he breeds.

24.)Kakashi doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Kakashi tells it to.

25.)If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all three at the same time? Answer: Kakashi Hatake.

26.)When his ninjutsu prowess fails to resolve a situation, Kakashi plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.

27.)Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Kakashi.

28.)Kakashi does not believe in Germany.


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29.) If you want a list of Kakashi's enemies, just check the extinct species list.

30.) Kakashi has never blinked in his life. Never.

31.) Kakashi doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

32.) Thanks to his mask, Kakashi owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1992 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno, and a Monopoly "Get out of Jail Free" card.

33.) Kakashi invented Water.

34.) Kakashi went looking for a bar, but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and just sat there. Sure enough, within an hour and a half, someone constructed a bar around him. He ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. He yelled over the roar of the flames, "Always leave things the way you found them!"

35.) Kakashi Hatake is Luke Skywalker's real father.

36.) Kakashi does not use spell sheck. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

37.) Kakashi doesn't have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

38.) When you open a can of whoop-a$$, Kakashi jumps out.

39.) There are no disabled people, only people who have met Kakashi Hatake.

40.) Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Kakashi to die before they attack.

A/N: Yeah, I know it was lame. But it's my first story, so cut me some slack.


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